This is the first access I've had to a computer all day...

... so instead of my usual scintillating commentary, you get a quick rundown of what's in my head.

Which, right now, is this: I just watched Julie Taymor's adaptation of Titus Andronicus, which is like glorious visual porn for literature nerds and sadomasochists. Titus Andronicus, if you haven't heard of it, is what the Reduced Shakespeare Company called "Shakespeare's Tarantino phase." And, for some reason, this is what it set running in my head:

My milkshake brings all the goths to the yard
And they're like, it's darker than yours
Damn right, it's darker than yours
I could teach you, but you just wouldn't understand...

 These are the things that kept me out of Harvard.

TOMORROW! Fabulous things are coming to this little blog. Stay tuned as I challenge a celebrity to a duel!