Friday, November 13, 2009

Won't You Zhoin Me In My Irrrrritating Leetle Zong?

I am sad to say I have a mind like a steel beartrap. That is to say, it usually holds on to the big thigns, the ones that will rampage through your cabin and kill you if you don't get them under control. The smaller things, though, either slip through or go around it entirely. Hence why I always pay my bills on time, but I can lose paperwork without even touching it. Or go for weeks without realizing my oil light is on. Or forget to return phone calls, get time cards signed, do dishes, or lock doors.

This problem is compounded by the fact that I am a terrible listener not an auditory learner. Yeah, let's go with that. Part of it is really that I don't hear so well, but mostly I just don't retain things that people say. I have no idea why this is. It's not that I don't want to listen and remember. I do. When people start talking, part of my brain is extremely attentive, but the part that makes short-term memory is probably off playing with itself in a corner. Someone will be giving directions and I'll nod and repeat them-- and they will glance off my mind like a ping-pong ball off a plate-glass window and be gone. I've spent the whole morning trying to remember if my first mate asked me to do the dishes this week. He probably did. Probably twice. But since I didn't get it in writing, I can't recall a single time.

As you can imagine, this occasionally leads to a perfect storm of unintentional thoughtlessness, which is one of my least favorite things (right after "perfect storm of badger feces," in fact.) I've tried system after system to keep myself on track, but all the planners and lists and routines only work for a week or so before I just forget to do them. (Apparently all the detail-tracking mechanisms themselves count as details.) I'm trying a new method, though, for which I have high hopes, and which leads me to the subject of this post.

I'm great at remembering song lyrics, so I've started setting my to-do lists to music. I use popular classical pieces mostly, so I can't possibly forget them, and I write the lyrics down (to give me the all-important visual cue.) I'll sing them to myself in the mornings as I get ready for work, and they'll stick in my head all day. Today's little song goes like this:

(to the tune of Kill the Wabbit)
Call the laaand-lord
Ca-all the laaaaaaaaand-lord
Ca-all the LAAAAAAND-lord
Vaccuum the staaaairs!

The one from October 30th is as follows (students' names have been changed):

(sung to Ode to Joy)
Good morning, Susan! Please remember
Karen's birthday PBJ
Bring Delilah's German tapes
And don't forget it's Robot Day.
Call Maureen and check your e-mail
Look up Sascha's new address
Hit the library on your lunch break
Thanks so much! That's all, I guess.

The point of telling all of you this is partly to apologize for being so flaky and partly to explain why I may be singing to myself. But mostly it's to say the following: Please submit all requests in writing. Thank you, the Management.

Posted by Silent Five @ 11:21 AM

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And this is exactly how I remember Bible verses and classical music composers ("Sergei Prokofieff could barely read the treble clef until he was past 47" sung to Peter & the Wolf). "It's plain to see our brains are very small...."
too true.

Posted by Anonymous Mom @ 1:27 PM #
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Word of the Week

gymnosophy [jim-NAH-so-fee]

n. Philosophical, amusing, or nonsensical insights realized when naked, as in the shower or in bed. (recent coinage: att. S. Galasso, 2010)

Victoria and Albert enjoyed a spot of postprandial concupiscence culminating in a night of gymnosophy and coffee and crumpets at dawn.

The Silent Top Five: Bacon-Flavored Desserts

1) Bacon cheesecake.
2) Bacon gumballs.
3) Bacon ice cream.
4) Bacon-orange bars.
5) Bacon apple pie.

Standard Disclaimer

This is all in no way meant to incur copyright-infringement-related wrath. I'm harmless. I promise. Oh, and if you're offended by anything I may post herein, I guarantee I didn't mean to do so (unless, of course, you are a humorless prig. In which case, go right on and be offended, with my blessings.)