Sunday, November 22, 2009
Happy Holidays!
Today is International* School Uniform Appreciation Day. Happy Holidays, all!
*And by "international" I mean "made up by me."
Let me say that I love the holidays. I do appreciate the light dusting of peace and goodwill that, like snow, covers most towns, even though they both melt away pretty easily. I like singing Christmas carols. I enjoy the smell of pine. I'm always delighted with the tradition of covering one's house with shiny, twinkly, blinky things. (I cannot drive during the holiday season because I spend too much time staring at the pretty lights.) Most of all, I enjoy my family's thoroughly dysfunctional holiday traditions. A few examples: There was "Pirate Christmas," where we all dressed up in costumes for dinner. At every holiday we have a postprandial drunken Apples to Apples game, which lasts until someone wins, we get tired of shouting at each other, or we run out of wine. And who can forget the year when, in lieu of a tree, we wrapped Christmas lights around my father's IV pole and stuck an angel on top? (That was not the first or the last time my younger sister accused us all of ruining Christmas, but it was certainly the funniest.)
By and large, though, our winter holidays have become expensive, stressful purchasing competitions, more about showing off how much you made that year and trying to spend a week with your extended family without killing them. This is why most of my favorite holidays are made up. Like International School Uniform Appreciation Day, which I celebrated by wearing white stockings and a plaid skirt. Mad genius Jenna Borgstrom has already declared January 15th Writing Real Person Slash About the Pope Day, a holiday I plan to celebrate to the mind-searing best of my ability. I will then share the fruits of my excruciating labors with you, because we always hurt the ones we love. And I love you, illusory internet friends. I love you hard.
Your turn, Figure Five Home Gamers! Let's make up some new holidays and see if we can get them to catch on! (Like Festivus, except with less Seinfeld.) How about Scott Adams Day, where we all wear curly ties and spend the day saying withering things about management?
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Now if only you'd given us a school uniform pic to commemorate the holiday :)
today was "I think I have Bronchitis Day" but that sounds like no fun so. How about International play fetch with a dog day?